.Monday, December 26, 2005 ' 2:20 PM
ayul
YEA…IM WRITIN IN BLOCK LETTERS 2DAY, TO SHOW HOW, ANGRY, DISAPPOINTED, UPSET, SAD, CANT-B-BOTHERED ATTITUDE, I AM RYT NOW. EVERYONE IS IN THE WRONG BUT DUN POINT FINGERS YET.
HEF U EVER TOT 2 URSELF, DAT U R PART OF DIS WRONG? I GUESS NOT. BUT IF U DID, U WILL THINK WAT U DID IS RYT & IT IS WRONG 4 HIM TO BLAME U. HEF U ALSO STOP TO THINK 4 A WHILE, DAT IF U CLD JUZ PLEASE HIM, & LISTEN 2 WAT HE HEF 2 SAID, ALL OF DIS WLD NOT HAPPENED? IF I TOLD U DAT, HE CARES & LOVES U MORE DEN US, WILL DAT CHANGE UR VIEW ON HIM? DO U NOE THE REASON Y HE SCOLD U EVERYTYM U CAME BACK LATE OR WEN U MISBEHAVE? BCOZ HE CARES & LOVES U. DO U NOE Y HE LET U CONTINUE UR STUDIES DESPITE HIM KNOWIN U DID NOT COMPLETE POLY AND PAYS 4 UR SCH FEES? BCOZ HE CARES & LOVES U & HE DOES NOT WANT U 2 B LYK HIM. Y EVERYTYM U MADE A MISTAKE U BLAMED HIM? PLEASE…IM ASKIN U TO JUZ PONDERS ABT DIS.
SHE CARES & LOVES U TOO. WEN U WANTED TO CONTINUE UR STUDIES, SHE’S WILLIN TO FIND A JOB SO DAT, HE CAN PAY UR SCH FEE AND SHE CAN AT LEAST HELP OUT PAYIN THE BILLS. SHE WANTED U 2 B AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN. SHE WANTS U 2 FIND A JOB SO DAT U CLD PAY UR OWN SCH FEES. SHE WANTS TO TREAT U LYK A MATURE ADULT. DAT IS Y SHE IS ALWAYS PRESSURIZIN U 2 FIND A JOB. U WANT PPL 2 TREAT U LYK AN ADULT, SO BE ONE. SOMETYMS SHE WANTS TO PROTECT U FROM BEING SCOLDED BY HIM BUT AT TYMS SHE CAN’T BCOZ U R IN THE WRONG. U CANT BLAME HER 4 NOT GIVIN U MUCH ATTENTION COZ U’R ALWAYS NOT ARD. BUT BCOZ SHE CARES & LOVES U, SHE GIVES U PRESENTS FOR UR B’DAY EERY YEAR W/O FAIL. B IT A SOFT TOY OR A DESIGNER WALLET OR JUZ A SIMPLE FAMILY DINNER. DUN U APPRECIATE HER?
HE LOVES U AS A SIS BUT BCOZ OF UR ATTITUDE, DAT TURNS HIM OFF. U MUST B FEELIN JEALOUS BCOZ HE IS CLOSER 2 ME. BUT HEF U EVER TOT 2 URSELF, WAT U CLD 2 DO SO DAT UR RELATIONSHIP WIF HIM WILL B GD? NO DOUBT HE IS THE YOUNGEST & ALWAYS GETS THE ATTENTION BUT DAT DOESN’T MEAN U HEF 2 TREAT HIM BAD. HE MAY COMPLAIN 2 ME ABT THE THINGS U DID 2 HIM BUT I NOE HE STILL REGARD U AS AN OLDER SIS. WHERE ARE U WEN HE IS IN TROUBLE? OR EVEN WEN HE HAS PROBLEMS? THINK ABT IT…
WEN I WAS YOUNG, I LOOKED UP 2 U. I C U AS MY ROLE MODEL, I WANTED 2 B LYK U. I WANTED TO PASS MY PSLE & GO 2 A GD SCH LYK U, BUT I DID NOT GET THE CHANCE. I WANTED TO GO POLY LYK U, BUT I DIDN’T GET THE CHANCE. HEF U EVER WONDER, HOW LUCKY U R? I MAY HEF RECEIVED BURSARIES OR GETTING A REWARD 4 PASSIN MY EXAMS BUT U GOT THE CHANCE TO GO 2 A GD SCH AND GOT INTO POLY. SOMETYMS I WONDER, Y AM I NOT AS INTELLECTUAL AS U R. I FEEL LYK IM STUPID WEN IM ARD U & BRO COZ BOTH OF U R SMART PPL. I NOE WEN I GOT INTO TROUBLE, U WERE ALWAYS THERE BUT WEN U R IN TROUBLE, I DID NOT HELP U OUT. IM NOT STRONG LYK U, IM NOT COURAGEOUS LYK U. I DUN VOICE OUT MY OPINION FREELY LYK U. BUT HEF U EVER STOP 2 THINK DAT IM ALWAYS THE PERSON U WILL LOOK 4 WEN U IN NEED OF MONEY? N HEF U EVER STOP 2 THINK DAT I’M ALWAYS THERE IF U NEED ME? I GUESS NOT. I FEEL LYK IM SOME KIND OF AN INTRUDER IN UR LIFE WEN I ASK U IF U HEF ANY PROBS. I’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF HAVIN DIS LIL SIS & BIG SIS SHARIN SECRETS & PROBLEMS 2GETHER BUT I CLD ONLY DREAM. IT WON’T HAPPEN IN REALITY BUT DAT’S OK. U HEF SAID SO MUCH BAD THINGS ABT ME 2 UR FRENS. BUT I DUN CARE. U CAN CRITISE ME AS MUCH AS U WANT, I DUN CARE. BCOZ U NOE Y? I CANT B BOTHERED WIF UR ATTITUDE ANYMORE. IF U CLD CHANGE UR ATTITUDE, I THINK DIS FAMILY WILL B ABLE TO MAKE IT.
U WANT THEM 2 RESPECT U, U HEF TO EARN IT. HOW U WANT 2 EARN IT? U GOTTA RESPECT THEM FIRST. U WANT THEM 2 APPRECIATE U, U APPRECIATE THEM FIRST. U WANT THEM 2 TREAT U LYK AN ADULT, U B & ACT & THINK LYK AN ADULT FIRST. I NOE U WONT LYK IT WAT I’VE WRITTEN HERE, BUT I GUESS IT IS TYM TO LET U NOE ALL OF IT. BUT IF BY THE END OF DIS ENTRY & U STILL THINKS DAT ALL OF DIS IS BULLSHIT, DEN I’M SORRY, I CANT HELP U ANY FURTHER. DO U NOE DAT ALL OF US HAD BEEN PRAYIN FOR U TO CHANGE TO B A BETTER PERSON? THINK ABT IT… A MOTHER’S PRAYER WILL ALWAYS B ANSWERED…
